Psalms and Seizures

I'm not the first pastor to have a crisis, and I'm not the first Christian to struggle with praying. Hey, I'm not the first pastor to struggle with praying whilst in a crisis!.

Perhaps, like me, you've read the biographies when the prayer warrior drops to the floor to pray every time he enters a room (really? I'm looking at you John 'Praying' Hyde) or can't go to sleep until he's led someone to the Lord. And then at 4am he's up again, not eating breakfast but praying. Again.

I've probably spent a lot of my time in utter condemnation over this. You never get the biography which says "slept soundly through my quiet time again. Well, it was so quiet and warm."

So that's the background to my hopeless life of prayer. I've often thought how great it would be to kneel in prayer with some of the saints of old. If anyone imagines my life of prayer, it involves a lot of drifting in and out of sleep.

Recently things changed. No, I'm still not a Praying Hyde, but a few years back I hit another trial, we’ve had a few. It was Church based, family based, the sort when you find yourself praying in the early hours because sleep has gone and naturally it was the Psalms that came to my aid. I had remembered Psalm 3 (thanks Ian White) and my prayers would end up there every morning for months.

Then right in the middle of that period I developed epilepsy which was fun! Finally, my medication was sorted, and the seizures seem to have stopped for now. But the seizures made it harder to concentrate and the medication made me more sleepy! And as a result my dismal prayer life was even harder.

Some years back I remember Don Carson saying something which really struck home. When you are younger, the Psalms often don't make sense, then as the years go by you hit a trial and they begin to make sense! This has been me for some time. As the years have gone by these hymns, prayers and laments have become so precious to me.

So I had a cunning plan! Why not use them to pray? At this point angels everywhere face palmed (just as they did when I thought-hey! we could sing these prayers). And it has been a tremendous blessing. I have been reading through them every month for a few years now, that's five a day. That in itself has been such a joy! But what I have done to help me is I have started writing or scribbling my prayers with the Psalms as my template.

The writing helps me focus, it isn't word for word, sometimes it's just a letter but it helps me focus and keeps me awake. But more importantly I let the rhythm of the Psalter shape my prayer life. So whilst I might want to wail and groan everyday, I’m with the Israelites when it comes to grumbling, the Psalms stop me as well as encourage me. 

So on the first of the month I will be challenged by that perfect blessed man in Psalm 1, before I get to cry out in Psalm 31. Later in the day is another lament Psalm 61(I sing the words set to My heart is filled with thanksgiving). Psalm 91 needs no introduction nor does the last one of the day, Psalm 121. 

Now, day one has plenty of places to take my anguish, but on other days I might be feeling dreadful but the order won't let me. Day 2 for example is a delightful selection 2, 32,62, 92, and 122. 

Psalm 76 will take my focus of myself onto the greatness of God went I might want to be shouting ‘how long? Will you forget me forever?’ Or Psalm 104 is a delight to pray and focus on God.

I’m not convinced I’ve got it completely right in how I pray the Psalms, and I don’t pray through all five everyday and of course I still have a few of the regular things I pray for. I’m still learning but these are Jesus’ prayers and they are His songs and are keeping me going during this season

Proverbs 10:7 The memory of the righteous will be a blessing, but the name of the wicked will rot.

Day 7

Once again building on the previous verse we see the contrast between the righteous and
the wicked. What a beautiful thought that a righteous life is remembered; perhaps you
know people who modeled righteousness to you and even though they are gone
their example lingers. Again we are not told how it is a blessing but it’s not hard to imagine.
What a contrast in that the name of the wicked will rot. In the previous verse violence
comes from the mouth of the wicked; in this verse their name will rot. Shame and
dishonour will be their memory if they are remembered at all.

Later on we read in 22:1 A good name is more desirable than great riches; to be esteemed
is better than silver or gold.
What will we be remembered for? Will people think of us as a godly example,
someone to copy, or will we be remembered for all the wrong reasons?  

We all want to leave something for our children when we die, usually it’s
some money or some precious things; what better to leave a legacy of faith,
of faithfulness, to be known as someone who read our bibles and prayed,
who served the local church and to have been a good example.

1 Corinthians 11:1 Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ.

Name it claim it?

Day 6

Proverbs 10:6 Blessings crown the head of the righteous, but violence overwhelms the mouth of the wicked.

Often someone might tell you rather piously I serve God not for reward but because I love Him. And in many ways that is quite noble although I’m not so sure it’s right to let others know; however the bible does talk of rewards, Jesus talks about laying up for yourself treasures in heaven, we see it in parables and here we see that blessings crown the head of the righteous.

What blessings? We don't know, we are not told. Is it the blessing of a long life? Are we talking about the covenant blessing of good harvests? Are we talking showers of blessings? Deuteronomy 28 may well be in view here; if you fully obey the Lord your God and carefully follow all his commands that I give you today, the Lord your God will set you high above all the nations on earth. All these blessings will come upon you and accompany you. I love that God promises blessing; however let’s not set our sights too low. The Prosperity gospel which is no gospel promises health, wealth and happiness in this life, yet the rewards Christ offers make those fleeting trinkets seem so worthless. It’s a crown that is promised and one that we will lay down before King Jesus on that day. It’s well worth living righteously.

The opposite also seems to play out. In covenant terms violence seems to mark out the way of the wicked. Of course these are those gritty observations of life, no doubt there are numerous occasions when it doesn't seem that way; you might want to berate Solomon, it's fine for you in your comfy palace, you need to get out a bit more, it doesn’t look like that from where I’m standing!

But of course the final reckoning isn’t seen yet. Many times what looks like setbacks have turned out to be a blessing farther down the road. I wonder if the truth in Proverbs is that ultimately we don't just have two ways we have two destinations. Blessing as a result of righteousness, rewards and treasure in following Christ or punishment and overwhelmed by wickedness in choosing another path.

Revelation 4:10 the twenty-four elders fall down before him who sits on the throne, and worship him who lives for ever and ever. They lay their crowns before the throne and say: “You are worthy, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honour and power, for you created all things, and by your will they were created and have their being.”

You sow, you reap!

Day 5

10:5 He who gathers crops in summer is a wise son, but he who sleeps during harvest is a disgraceful son.

The harvest theme continues, and again we are shocked that someone might sleep when the rest of the community is working hard. A wise son joins in, of course he does, it's the right thing to do. But the foolish son is called disgraceful. No doubt he will want the benefits later on but not the effort now; how the previous proverb speaks, lazy hands really do make a man poor.

How might this proverb reflect on church activities? The agricultural setting is helpful in thinking this through with everybody working for the common good. However our western culture praises individualism and this filters through into church life; how dare my pastor point out my sin, who does he think he is? Why does my Christian brother say that to me? He should keep his nose out! But the New Testament tells us we are part of a body. We need each other, so when we don't play our part whatever that part may be, we are the foolish son, we are disgraceful.

As we reflect over the last few posts we have a helpful introduction to the two ways laid out in the book of Proverbs. We might want to argue that life isn't as black and white like that. We might shout out in frustration life is grey sometimes. And in many ways the greyness is where we dwell, yet we constantly have these two competing voices crying out, lady Wisdom (Proverbs 2:20) calls aloud in the street as does woman Folly (9:13) who will we listen to. Don't settle for anything less than lady Wisdom. Life is often grey but let’s not settle for that.

Rise and shine.

Day 4

10:4 Lazy hands make a man poor, but diligent hands bring wealth.

There can be many reasons for poverty, just as there can be many reasons for wealth not all within the control of the person. The contrast here highlights the rightness of work. Just as a mark of our wise son is diligence in work so a mark of a foolish son is laziness in life, he has no one to blame but himself. The setting was in an agricultural society and in that setting it is really quite clear that if you are lazy at planting time or weeding or if stray or wild animals can get in, you will grow poor and hungry because something else is eating your crops! However, in our day our lazy son might win the lottery or he might inherit money whereas our wise son's field might be overgrown and overrun because he's gone away on mission, or he might be ill, maybe he’s busy serving the poor; the proverb has it's limitations as all proverbs do. So whilst in life and in work it may often be true, laziness in spiritual matters brings poverty every time, and diligence in spiritual things brings great wealth that cannot be measured in monetary terms.

Perhaps your walk with the Lord is lacking and you are looking for something to blame or someone to blame yet the responsibility ultimately lies with you to work out your salvation, to apply yourself diligently to wisdom.

Philippians 2:12 Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed--not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence--continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling.

Never go hungry?

Day 3.

10:3 The Lord does not let the righteous go hungry but he thwarts the craving of the wicked.

Proverbs are gritty observations on life; they are not universal truths to be applied to every situation. Are we really going to say that righteous people have never starved in famines? Are we really saying that the cravings of the wicked are always thwarted? That’s just not the case, famines kill the righteous as well as the wicked, and whilst I’ve no doubt there are many cases of God’s providence at work for which we must praise him there are many times when Christians do go hungry.

But of course if we think deeper we can ask the question what is the final destination of the righteous and the wicked? Ultimately the righteous will be with Him; as Revelation 21;4 says  He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” And ultimately the wicked will be cast from His presence. This side of the return of Christ there will be times of blessing and times of pain, the other side joy unspeakable. So yes, two paths only for the father's son, two ways to live life; which will you choose?

On the fiddle.

Day 2.

10:2 Ill-gotten treasures are of no value,
but righteousness delivers from death.

One mark of a foolish son is moral ambiguity. Ill-gotten treasures can be anything from outright stealing, fiddling a tax return, cheating on benefits and a whole host of other things. In some cultures corruption is the norm and when you have corruption in high places it trickles down, everybody is doing it. How do we resist such a culture? In Matthew 5 v13-16 Jesus talks about being salt and light; salt stops the rot and light shines in dark places. A simple no might cause you problems because it highlights another’s sinfulness but it might also make them think.

Of course you could easily argue that the writer is wrong here. £100 gained honestly has just as much value as the same amount acquired dishonestly, Ill-gotten treasures are still treasure, they still buy the same amount of things, but of course it's the contrast that speaks to us; righteousness delivers from death. The father is teaching his son the value of eternal treasures rather than financial management principles. We're not building bank accounts on earth but laying up treasure in heaven. Eternity is in view.

Matthew 6:20 But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal.